Having a thriving, happy relationship requires constant work from both of you. It requires you to give and take and it’s definitely a journey worth fighting for when it comes to the right person.
The little things that make us happy, like cooking your partner’s favourite dinner, breakfast in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, or offering a flower without a special occasion are the small gestures that go a long way. But every relationship has its ups and downs and learning how to manage the bumps on the road will eventually make your relationship stronger.
Let’s face it, it’s endearing when you see an elderly couple holding hands while they walk. It makes you want to stop and think “How did they do it”? Well, it’s not easy, but not impossible either. It requires patience, understanding and always remembering that your relationship is important.
So, here is some advice on how you can improve your relationship by working together to solve these 4 common challenges.
It seems easier said than done, but the truth is, communication is the key to a happy relationship. Considering our busy lives and distractions these days, sometimes it’s hard to find the time to simply open up to your loved one. Things start piling up and one day you end up shouting all the things you didn’t say in their right time.
What you really need to do is make an actual appointment with one another. Call it “Talking Sunday” if you will, and mark it on your calendar, because it’s important. Make sure there are no distractions around you, look into each other’s eyes, and things will come naturally. It may be awkward at first, but at least you’re taking some real steps to improving communication in your relationship.
Remember not to raise your voice and not to interrupt your partner. Listen carefully and show interest through your body language so the other one knows they’re being heard. Try to phrase everything in a positive way. For example, “I wish you would help more around the house, so we could have more time together” instead of “You never help with anything and I’m sick of feeling like I’m the housekeeper”.Remember: Happy thoughts!
2. Dividing home chores
Oh, that’s a tricky one, especially when both of you have full-time jobs. There’s simply no way of deciding who’s more tired and who has enough energy left to clean the house, and if you end up spending your weekend doing chores, that can’t be good for anyone. This can quickly escalate into a fight, especially if you get that standard answer of “I’ll do it tomorrow”. Yes, we know you need it today, not tomorrow.
What you need to do is create a list and mutually agree on who does what. Make sure you organize it well and stick it somewhere, like on the fridge, where you can both see it, at least in the beginning.
If you still can’t agree on this, then try searching for alternative solutions, like a cleaning service. After all, the time you’ll have together is priceless.
Conflict is a part of life, and whether you like it or not, you and your partner need to learn how to deal with it in a healthy and productive manner. Think twice about what you’re going to say, and if your comments are blaming and hurtful, then it’s time to take a break.
Instead, try changing your arguing strategy. I know that sounds weird, but if you are used to jumping right in to defend yourself when your partner hasn’t finished talking, try to hold off and hear them out.
It’s also important to admit when you’re wrong and apologize. Remember that vanity has no place in a happy relationship, and you’ll be surprised how an apology can bring you closer after an argument.
Trust is the glue that keeps you together. It’s a key part of the relationship. If you and your partner have trust issues, you’ll need to learn to solve them with patience over time. Don’t lie to one another and try to be sensitive to what the other is feeling. Don’t discount how your partner is feeling, because it might cause them to feel like they can’t open up to you.
Always let the other one know what’s going on with you, where you are and call if you’re going to be home late. Never say things you can’t take back, especially if you don’t mean them, and don’t dig up old wounds.
Respect your partner’s boundaries, be a good listener, and always be there when the one you love needs you the most. Be each other’s cheerleaders and support teams.
Well, like I said, a happy relationship needs a lot of work, but at the end of the day, you know it’s worth it.
What problems do you struggle with every day and how do you manage to solve them?