Menu Close

What if they say ‘no’? Every single person’s biggest fear and how to overcome it

boy and girl with heartsBeing rejected sucks.

Fear grips us and that very fear wipes away all of our precious confidence and courage.

It makes us doubt ourselves for no reason at all.

“What if they said no?”

You’ve probably tormented yourself for months with this question.

We’ll, let’s answer that question right now! This is what happens when they say ‘no’:

  • You’ll actually be relieved because you’ll know the real answer
  • You’ll be able to sleep again at night
  • The world won’t actually end
  • Your heart will keep beating
  • You’ll even learn to breathe again after you hear their answer
  • Your eyes will be open to the thousands of possibilities around you again – might take some time, but you’ll get there

But, let’s not dwell on the negative.  What if they actually said yes?  What if you asked them out last week and they said yes?  What would you be doing now? Certainly not sinking into this spiral of self-doubt and worry.

Put yourself out of your misery today

You and only you, hold the power.  The power of taking back control of your life.  The power to make a big choice and run with it.

It may surprise you to know that if you are stuck in ‘What if they say no?’-land, you’ve already decided.  Your choice up until this point has been to do nothing.  Yep, that’s actually a decision you’re making each day without even realising it.

Your fear is winning and ruling your life.

Stop wondering what might be and instead let the world know exactly what you want and then go and get it. Decide to act.

But hold up for a minute, because deciding to act doesn’t mean you have to rush head first into it with your eyes closed and your brain at home.

Here’s how you do it…

5 ways to conquer your fear and find courage

  1. Find out if they are already taken – ask friends to help you here
  2. Have a few small conversations with them first – you may find you don’t actually have any chemistry together
  3. Ask them questions about what they like to do on weekends, or favourite sports etc – learn as much as you can about them
  4. Pay them an honest and genuine compliment during a conversation – this will get them to notice you if they haven’t already
  5. Instead of asking them out, just ask if they’d like to go to the movies or have lunch with you on the weekend – it’s much less scary
And if you can’t work up the courage to do any of that, then practice what you will say in front of a mirror and decide today that you’ll take the chance to speak to them at the next available opportunity you get and remember that they could very well say ‘yes’!

Have you got any other tips for finding the courage to ask that special someone out? Share your tips in the comments below

[image from]